The perks of being a wallflower
#6
To my face you're a friend. Nice and
sweet. You always have something nice to say but when my back is turned and I
can no longer see you. You turn into someone else who is vicious and
mean. You tell all your friends and some of mine too about all the
things I never did to you. Then I turn back and look upon your face and
all I can see is the false truth in your eyes and I believe in
you what harm could you ever do to me? Little did I know this whole
time you've been telling everybody everything. You've been making mountains out
of mole hills. You've been turning my good into bad my truths into lies and it
hurts. What did I ever do to you? You were the only one I could rely on
at one point in time. I thought for sure you would always be
there. I had your back and I thought you had mine. Things never work
out the way you want them to. That's what I've heard but I thought things
with you were different. I always had a feeling it might happen. I
just wish I would have listened to my heart. Your words stab so
deep. I don't think they will ever heal. My heart is shattered into
pieces and I have no one to help pick up the pieces. I just always thought
you would be the one standing next to me through everything. I need you,
well I needed you. I get sick just thinking about it. I can't stand
what you did to me. I don't even think I can stand you. So fake and
so full of nothing. How can you live with yourself? I've always,
always tried to be a friend which is more than I can say for you. Today I
stopped trying to be 'someone' for somebody who never thought of me as anyone
appreciated and important to them. Inside I know the space I had for them
is now crushed and broken. Let the facts be out in the open and the truth
be spoken. In time it will be for the best although I feel an emptiness
knowing what I considered worthwhile proved shallow and unreal. I've
learned sometimes emotions seem clearer than perception and eventually can lead
to a heartbreaking revelation that someone cherished proves that their
friendship was in fact deception. I cry tears of realization that once
again I believed the lies that were in disguise and covered up. Honesty
was masked with coy flattery. Why was I so darn naive? I can and will move
on but I won't forget I was forgotten and actually believed a lie. Not a lie
out of the mouth but of the heart. That piece of friendship is now torn apart. I
mustn't be sorry for the encouragement and love I shared because I know what I
offered was itself a dare. A dare to let someone be a part of me who didn't
find a reason to care. Moments like these are rare. Moments that I feel
what I felt to be 'nothing' now and bare. Thanks for the lesson learned
and always remembered. You were a 'lucky' someone who successfully got a part
of the best of me. Now I'll throw away the scattered and useless pieces and
leave you be.